She awakens in the morgue, neither dead nor alive, a vampire, consumed by an overwhelming craving for blood. Lured in by the promise of wild parties, these kids start turning up dead, and when Sadie tries to get to the bottom of their gruesome murders, she becomes a victim herself. Some of the things that bring a smile to my face are (in no particular order): Teenage back acne, the rain on my face, long walks on the beach and redneck women named Francis.From the producers of THE GRUDGE Franchise comes this terrifying new thriller starring Lucy Liu! Sadie (Liu) is an investigative reporter who stumbles upon a dark underground cult that is attracting young Los Angeles hipsters. Look for it there in the near future, if you simply must have one the worst vampire depictions ever filmed in your collection.
Ill be surprised if it actually makes its way into a theater near you.
It may be the first movie Ive ever seen in which the writing, directing and acting were all equally bad. I was, however, a bit dismayed at coming to the realization that Liu has a pancake ass. There are even a few bare assed scenes and believe it or not her left tit is flashed very quickly and when I say very quickly, I mean faster than a speeding bullet.īut in my book, brief nudity still equals seeing a girl naked and I must say, as will 98 of all men polled, thats a good thing. Thats right boys, there are plenty of scenes with her baring various portions of skin. If this is what I can expect from a vampire now, Ill just have to find a new undead creature to love Ive always thought the Mummy was underrated.
What the fuck is up with that Bishop (James DArcy), the leader if the vampire family is running away because he thinks a cop is after him. The only crowning achievement was seeing Nick Lachey cast in a movie. Michael Chiklis portrayal of Detective Clyde Rawlins is basically a reenactment of his role as Detective Vic Mackey on The Shield. What I saw instead was a confused girl, who tried to say tough-guy lines because they were on her cue cards. The vampire Sadie is supposed to be a tormented, driven, hard-ass hellbent on revenge. Its not that she doesnt try but she simply cant make her character believable. Under the tutelage of Arturo (Julio Oscar Mechoso), she tries to fight her hunger (Pitt did it better in Interview with the Vampire) and takes it upon herself get revenge by killing those that made her (Snipes did it better in Blade).
Lucy Liu is Sadie Blake, a hack reporter who, after digging a bit too deeply into the goth underground, finds herself transformed into a blood thirsty creature of the night. This unto itself isnt a reason to condemn a movie, the fact there isnt a single thing original about Rise: Blood Hunter is. Its been done countless times before in one fashion or another. Rise: Blood Hunter puts them all together whats not to love.
To find out more, including how to control cookies, see here.Ĭan they be any more awesome It sure can Lucy Liu can be cast as a bloodsucker.
To be sure that people would still know she was a vampire, the jumper had a very large, pink bat on it.Īnd as to guys, well, it was normal for a girl to dream about guys she just wished the dreams could have involved chocolates and holding hands, not leaping out at someone, ripping off his shirt, and demanding to know what blood type he was (at least not on the first date). Imagine all of those things ten times worse, and you might get an idea of what its like being a living, breathing teenage vampire.Īt last, the world can read about the life of a girl with good teeth, her problems with strong sunlight that gave her spots, and the sunblock that made her hair go yucky and produced more spots. They face the stresses of school, deciding whom to date, and the biggie of sex, just to name a few.